Don't Mention It...No Really, Don't Mention It

If a writer isn't going to expand on a subject, please don't mention it in passing. There really weren't any dangling questions left in "Twilight" other than, "what next?" and that's a clear opening to continue writing sequels and if done properly, is acceptable. "50" on the other hand, left many unanswered questions and they all surround around secondary characters. This happened because the author mentioned in passing a few instances regarding these characters, but then didn't expand on them anywhere. I think the biggest "what the heck" subject would be Mia and Ethan. Mia and Ethan are Alice and Jasper. Anyone that is a Twilight fan knows all about Alice and Jasper and really doesn't need any more information. Ana isn't really closely tied to Mia and Ethan in 50, however there are questions mentioned in the book, and leaving those unanswered is more of a "wtf" issue than a lingering question for a sequel. How do you know the difference? Take the mention of Ethan and Mia out and does the book still flow and make sense? The author needed Mia to approach Ana at the end of book 2 for two reasons: to get her alone so Elena could then approach her and to give her a drink so she'd have it in her hand to throw on Elena. The problem that was created in this: you finish the series and still want to know "what happened to...?" Twilight ended with some assumptions that you can live with--we assume that in 7 years when Renessme is fully grown, she will start dating Jacob and they will live happily ever after. 50 on the other hand, left us wondering "did Mia and Ethan wind up together?" They were holding hands when we last heard of them, but that doesn't mean much when you consider that they are Alice/Jasper. If they were of the importance level of Mike/Jessica in Twilight, we just wouldn't care--holding hands would be enough--as them being each other's date was at Bella's wedding. But Mia and Ethan are more central characters--if they are mentioned, we need some kind of resolution. For me, Twilight did have one "what about" moment. Bella mentions that she's happy she pulled away from her mom so she wouldn't have to explain the vampire issue and having the baby. I'm sorry but that isn't enough. Meyer is a mom, I'm a mom, no mom just marries off her daughter and is fine with never hearing from her again. That fake funeral is Bella's only way out even if her mom is "ditzy." Her mother will not be satisfied with just phone calls. A more minor issue are the Cullens staying in Forks. Yes they fixed that with Charlie knowing just a little, but that doesn't prevent them from having to leave at some point. They have already lived there for over 2 years, they can't stay another 7 waiting for Renessme to grow--Carlisle can't work in the hospital that long without aging. Someone will see them if they pretend to leave, but don't. Technically yes they can hide in the woods for 7 years without being seen--running through the woods to Seattle or some place and driving from there or flying from there. But why? Just so Jacob won't be lonely? No Jacob will have to suck it up and move somewhere with the Cullens for a few years before he can move back with his new girlfriend. My other "why bother" mention is Ana saying she wants to go to church. I don't have a problem with her going, I just don't think it's something you can mention in passing and not discuss. It's too obvious that it's being worked in because she promised herself she would go, not because it's central to the plot. There needed to be more discussion--let her really tell Christian how deeply she was worried, how important he is. Not a casual mention. Why? Because while Twilight covers a short amount of time (just a year and a half), 50 only covers a few months. There are very few days that aren't accounted for in this series. If something is mentioned, it happens or needs to be discussed, or don't bother. In a series where everything is happening and we're getting a daily play by play you can't just have "I want to go to church tomorrow" "Ok" and be done with it. It doesn't sound sincere, it sounds like they probably didn't go, she just wanted to honour a promise she made, but it didn't sound like she went through with it. All it would have taken is a deeper discussion and she wouldn't have sounded insincere. Bella casually mentions how she thinks Billy and her dad are having a rift in their friendship, but she just doesn't have the time to focus on it. Well according to the guide, they were fighting over Sue--Charlie won. So it was resolved. I'm wondering if James was mirroring that with Mia and Ethan--it's written in a similar fashion--Ana acknowledges it, but doesn't seem to have the interest to pursue it. She sent Mia to Kate, so why not have Kate gossip about it at their night out for cocktails? It would have been a perfect time to get that back story--how did Kate handle it? What did Mia say? What does her brother Ethan think? C'mon give us some details. I think why I'm bothered by it is that Ana isn't written as being so dazed. Yes, she put too much faith in her assistant and didn't pay close attention to her calendar and missed her Depo shot, but she doesn't appear stupid or ditzy about it. It was an honest mistake. But the way the resolution at the end of the series is written, "oh look they are holding hands, wonder what that means" isn't good enough. And not just because I really want to know, but because it's lazy writing. If you are going to tell a story, tell a story, otherwise don't add it. Ana being pregnant and due around the time Kate is planning to get married was odd as well. She set up a conflict and then didn't share with us the resolution. In the epilogue we learn that yes, Kate got married and now has a daughter, but did the date get changed? Did Ana waddle down the aisle? Again, don't create an unresolved conflict that doesn't lend itself to the major plot. It was a conflict that wasn't all that necessary. Nit picking I know, but I write too, I think about those things. Standards people, standards.

Know Your Surroundings: Do a Little Research

When you write about cities and towns that actually exist, you need to get your details correct. There is some level of allowance when it comes to making up restaurants and shops, but if you are going to be specific, you need to get it right. Stephenie Meyer flew up to Forks and did her research and she did a good job on getting the details correct. EL James admits she only looked on google maps. Well, it shows. This biggest research bomb is when Ana and Christian are driving back to Seattle from Portland. She writes that they are driving through the Oregon blackness. No they aren't. Portland borders Washington but for a river. If the river wasn't there, Vancouver and Portland would be the same city with an imaginary line through it. There is no Oregon darkness on the drive up I-5 from Portland to Seattle. In fact, they would be a good 30 or so miles into Washington before they found any blackness, depending on the weather, likely 50 miles. Pike Street Market is where you shop for your groceries when your flat has a view of the market and you live like a block away. You don't go to a small Mom & Pop that doesn't even sell wine. She was specific enough to mention that their apartment overlooks the market and how they live in the market district--did she not google the market itself? It's one giant and I mean GIANT block of food. Fresh vegetables and fruits, butchers, fish mongers, bakeries, and specialty food shops go on forever and on multiple stories. She also made Ana a good cook, so yeah, they would have gone to Pike Place Market for groceries. It may sound petty, but you just don't visit whatever version of a 7-11 she wrote about. It's not even a question. This is where 50 Shades pales to Twilight. I understand she isn't writing it specifically for a Seattle audience, but the Pacific Northwest knows itself and so do people that visit. Get the details right if you're going to be that specific. I'm guessing she chose Seattle because it's the closest large metro area to Forks and it was, after all, originally a Twilight fan fiction, but again, like Stephenie, get it right before you publish for the masses. By the time editing was being done, she could have afforded the flight to Seattle--or heck, how about an editor that said "this isn't right." Aren't editors supposed to do that? James also made an error on the sail over to Bainbridge--they wouldn't also be going towards the Olympic range. She mentions seeing Mt. Ranier behind them as they leave Seattle--well that's where the Olympic range would be--behind them. Keep going past Bainbridge and you reach the ocean. Not mountains. Oops. I also had trouble believing they stopped for fuel in Shannon Ireland if they are flying to London from Seattle. His plane can't make it non-stop? Pretty sure it could. If not, it would've stopped just before leaving the states. Ok so I didn't research this, maybe she did, but it just didn't seem right to me, and certainly not important enough to be a necessary plot point. She had the one-way street going the wrong way in front of the Heathman. The whole R8 u-turn would have sent them in the wrong direction from OHSU and also the wrong way down the street. That really bothered me. Again, if you are going to be that specific, that detailed, about a real location, you have to get those details right. You either research it more than looking on a map, although in this case I'm guessing she just looked on the Heathman's web page, or you write it a little vague so someone like me doesn't pick it apart. EL James' British-ness came out in her writing and being married to a Londoner and having lived over there, I caught it, others may not have. For me it was like catching Rob Pattinson losing his accent in the movies. If you know what to listen for you'll hear it, otherwise not. I actually enjoyed reading it, because I heard it in the accent. It was just a few ways they speak "I'm crap at it," for example. We don't use that expression in that way. There were others peppered throughout. Not a bad thing, but if you are having your characters speak out loud, it's best not to have them speak the Queen's English if they aren't British. One example of her innate British-ness was in her menus. It is a stretch to think that at a summer dinner (when Ana had dinner at his parent's house after graduation and moving to Seattle) in the Pacific Northwest anyone would serve roast winter veggies with a roast meat. That menu was very English and the wrong season. And the dessert was way too British. No one here eats syllabub anymore, or likely even knows what one is. I have a feeling that when people read that, google trended on the word "syllabub." Dessert is not a high point in the British eating experience and it shows in the series. Those of us who live in the Pacific Northwest, especially those that can afford it, eat locally and eat seasonally. That menu sounded weird. And again, it's something that should have been caught by an editor. Did anyone else think it was odd that when Grace had everyone over for Christian's birthday party, especially when she was privy to the good news of their engagement, she had a buffet in the kitchen? They live in a three story colonial mansion on the bay, throw garden parties for 300 in a tent outside that is more lavish than a state dinner, yet for a son's birthday and engagement announcement, it's a buffet in the kitchen? Not a huge deal, but still something that stood out enough to be noticed.

Will You Marry Me?

Both series include the wedding of the main characters. Since I started writing this blog...yesterday...the more I think about Bella, the more I just cannot stand her. She is willing to become immortal but is unwilling to get married? Really? Because she thinks her mom will be against marriage so young? Really? Maybe I'm old-fashioned, maybe I'm a romantic, but the fact that Bella was written as wanting to be with Edward always and forever, but without marriage? It just didn't make sense to me. The same way it didn't make sense that Bella would be angry that Edward insisted on giving her a ride home after the near fainting episode at school. Why was she so excited to see him and ride home with him from Port Angeles? Doesn't make sense. Ana's reluctance to give an immediate yes made a little more sense how it was written. She was near hysterics after Christian's helicopter crash, had just been told why he liked to dominate brown-haired girls, and his timing was kind of off. In addition her response wasn't shock and repulsion, it was shock and amazement. As Kate pointed out, they have only been together for 16 days. Edward and Bella had been together a year and had pledged to be together forever--marriage wasn't that far out of left field. It made sense for him to ask her and her aversion and repulsion to it just felt odd. Had her reaction been "no" but written differently, it would have been more believable. The more I think about it, and the more I read and write about it, the age difference between Ana and Bella seems vast. Yes Bella is supposed to be very old for her years, but in so many ways she seems like a little girl. Ana is inexperienced and that shows, but she isn't afraid or wary of much. She knows what she wants and goes after it. All Bella wants is to be an immortal and be with Edward forever--however being married to him is somehow a ridiculous request. This makes the marriage of Ana and Christian seem natural and a given even before she agrees--I mean we just knew she was going to say yes, but because she knows what she wants, she deserved a more romantic proposal. I think Bella's initial refusal would have been more believable if it had been written more sympathetically. I do like that Edward stood his ground as far as the sexual activity waiting for marriage--not that I'm a prude, but because he stood up for his beliefs. Just because he is a male doesn't mean he should have to put out if he isn't ready.

Points of View: Who Tells it Best

Writing from the first person account isn't easy. When you write from first person, the story is more personal, but you can only write what the character is seeing. For example when Bella was sick and pregnant and not leaving the house, Jacob had to become the narrator or we'd never know what happened. It would have been a really weird read if it was still Bella telling "what she heard" and telling details second hand. To give James her due, I think she did a better job of her first person account...meaning I don't miss or really need to read a second telling from Christian's point of view. I enjoyed the one she included, but wasn't desperate for more, as I am with the Twilight series. If I were to make a request for Christian's point of view, it would be more of his life "before Ana." I think it's safe to say that the reason we don't need Christian's point of view is: they are rarely apart in this series. From the moment they meet and first get together, they are together almost every night. And I am really not interested in Christian's point of view while he's at the office and in meetings. Twilight is a bit different in this instance. Bella and Edward do spend time apart. Later in the series, they are together quite often (at school, when he sneaks in at night) and he is off doing things that are not standard--he's a vampire. So yes, knowing what he was doing in those blank spaces would be interesting. It is also interesting to learn what he is thinking and why he is thinking it and why he feels the way he does. Christian, on the other hand, seems to be easier to "read" and it makes more sense. James provided enough of the back story and he seems to talk more. I have often made the argument, after reading "Midnight Sun" that the books would have been much better had she written them from Edward's point of view instead of Bella's. Meyer loves Edward passionately and it shows. I found the unedited version of "Sun" much better than the published version of "Twilight." Why? Her love for the character really was evident and because of that she a) wrote better and b) went further in-depth. The problem with Twilight being written as a 1st person series is that so much happens when Bella isn't around--immortals abound. And really, what perspective and life would be more interesting? The life of an immortal falling for a human or a shy, boring human falling in love with an immortal?

Suspension of Disbelief: Mistakes in the Editing

Part of being a good writer is making your story and characters believable. From what I could tell, there was/is a huge part of the population that has trouble with the way Meyer wrote her vampires: real vampires don't sparkle. Frankly, I have no problem with that, likely because I have no history of vampire knowledge. It isn't a genre I read, so her world was fine for me. I read it for the characters--I fell in love with Edward. Twilight has fewer "goofs" for me than "Shades," but I find "Shades" a better read on the whole. Neither author is a very good writer when it comes to technical skill--Meyer really needs to stop announcing publicly that she has an English degree--her writing shows a lack of technical knowledge and frankly, where the hell was her editor? My biggest problem with it, being an English major myself, was her word usage. "Till" is not a substitute for "until." She uses that word repeatedly--I know it is slang, but at least write it correctly: 'Til. And she has Edward saying it at the same time she has him being well educated and from another era. So it's there, but it's annoying. She also has problems with sentence structure and proper grammar. "Firstly" isn't correct, it's "first of all" and then "secondly," and she clearly missed that lesson and her editor allowed her to seem really uneducated. It's just embarassing for an English major. And people will ignore that and say "what's the big deal, we knew what she meant." The big deal is that it's wrong. And it's that attitude that it's perfectly OK to not know your own mother tongue that has the US behind other developed countries. The Chinese, the Japanese, the Germans (all who have economies that are booming right now) all know their own languages well and use them properly. Accepting the incorrect is part of our problem. We just don't care anymore or have any standards. There are fewer instances in "Twilight" that make one say: "really? that just doesn't seem like it would happen that way." The few I can think of are her crappy computer, the moment following blood typing when she just walks away and Edward keeps her with him by force, and the vampires in gym class. I will get to the computers later. The sheer antagonism coming from Bella when Edward tries to give her a ride home was a little off for me. We know she likes him and I understand it was to show how she doesn't like to be taken care of, but being so angry about a ride home from the boy you're supposed to like? It just didn't seem to me that she'd act that way--or that a girl with a crush would act that way. The way it's written...she invites him to the beach trip and then just starts walking off to her car--no goodbye, no wondering if she'll see him later--really? It wasn't behavior that seemed plausible for a girl that really liked him. Computers and our Authors Their age shows in their writing when they discuss computers. It was a little more believable to read that Bella has a crap computer back in the mid-00's. Wireless, cable, and DSL were still luxuries not the norm, but you could tell that Meyer had to really sell us on the idea that Bella's computer was such a shit box. She almost over-sold it. I think even in a small town the Police Chief would have a quality computer and internet connection. EL James really cocked it up when she wrote about Ana and the laptop. I'm sorry but no English major graduating top of her class in 2011 uses the computers at the lab and borrows her room mate's laptop. I'd believe her having the crappy one of Bella's as a hand me down from Kate before I'd believe she didn't have one at all. Total mistake and the editor should have mentioned that. The girl has a job and pays nothing for rent--she can afford a cheap, used lap top. And Kate being so wealthy giving her clothes all the time? Kate would have kicked down a used family lap top or desk top. And they would have had a desk top in the home too. While lap tops are great, I think a desk top would have been in the apartment of two English majors. I graduated college in 1992--I had a computer and so did my roommate. Sorry but in 2011 every student does. Having Ana with a cell phone that texts? Please. And not having an email? She had an email. Even if she only had a school email. I'm an alumni and can still have an email account from my college 20 years later, so that was just ridiculous. No student in 2011 is without a free hotmail account or gmail account. That was just something no one would believe. I understand that James wanted the MacBook to be a big deal and a great gift, but it wasn't written in a believable way. I also think the Blackberry comes down to her being British. No one who gifts MacBooks and iPads is gifting a Blackberry. You're also getting and iPhone. For a man who has a garage full of just Audis and a closet full of the same shirt--he's picking a brand and sticking to it. I just started reading book 3 again, 50 Shades Freed, and found a glaring error. The discussion about the pre-nup at the beginning had Kate at the table over-hearing the shouting match between Christian and Carrick. Everyone but Ethan appeared to be there. Later in the book, when Ana and Kate go out for drinks, Ana mentions how Carrick wanted a pre-nup and the way it's written it's as if Kate had never heard this information before. Yes she had, she was there when it happened. Just a mistake--forgetting who is where and when and again, something an editor is supposed to catch. I also questioned their honeymoon mode of transport. Why did they take his private plane TO Europe, yet took British Airways home? He has gone out of his way to brag and boast about his plane, offering it to her when she flew to Georgia, taking it to New York when he went on a business trip, yet as the owner and head of his own company, he wasn't able to schedule his own plane to take them home? It dropped them off in London and then left back for the US? Hey, if you are going to write about it, have it make sense.

The Others: How the Secondary Characters Stack Up

Christian's parents and Edward's parents were very different. The biggest difference being that Christian's parents really were his parents. I'm adopted too and don't EVER tell an adopted kid "oh those are your adopted parents." No, they are our real parents. While Carlisle and Esme had some parental qualities, the "parent" part was purely for show for the humans. For one thing, they were only 6-9 years older than Edward and shared more of a respect and love for one another. They were not going to tell Edward what he could or couldn't do--Edward wasn't going to be grounded or sent to his room. Carrick and Grace were clearly Christian's parents and that parental bond was clearly evident throughout the books. We are told that he was punished for his bad behavior as an adolescent. We are told that he had parental guidance growing up. Grace is clearly a mother and Carrick is clearly a father. The kids were adopted at very young ages and in Mia's case as a baby. Elliot was adopted first and we aren't specifically told at what age--baby or toddler, but it was young. Those kids were raised with parents. Grace was written as a strong, supportive, and loving woman. Esme was written as very loving, but occasionally came off as naive and bland. When she was trying to wrap her head around having enemies (James and Victoria) she just couldn't do it--why would anyone be evil? It made her seem more naive and slow than it just being a biproduct of her great love. Grace was a devoted mom, but also a career woman. Esme just had hobbies and interests that never seemed important or interesting. Carlisle loved his job, but was written as pretty neutral. Carrick had specific ideas. He was not always popular (ie the pre-nup.)but he was a strong paternal presence, a loving presence. Now in the original manuscript pre-50, the names were just used for random characters that didn't correspond between the two. The school secretary Shelley Cope became Gail Cope the housekeeper. It was just the borrowing of a name. Names of pack members and schoolmates became secretaries, receptionists, friends of Mia, etc. And when the change came to make it 50 Shades, the point became moot. The characters were completely different and had no resemblance to one another. Lily, Mia's bitchy friend, was originally named Jane...being bitchy doesn't equate you to a cruel vampire that enjoys inflicting pain. Jacob and Jose weren't anything alike. Jacob (again remember I was all Edward all the time) was understandable. It was easy to see how and why he and Bella got along and were good friends. Jose was a mystery. Because we were being told this story from Ana's point of view, all she ever did was describe him as whiny and clingy. Yuck. Their friendship didn't seem plausible and she didn't seem to care much about him, other than feeling guilty for not wanting to date him. Well too bad Jose, move on. Part of that, I believe, had to do with the writer's lack of experience. She was trying to show that he was hitting on her without her really "getting" that he liked her, but it came off as him using a whiny voice and making faces that indicated he was a little bitch. It just wasn't believable. Therefore it made it easy to forget him and not really care about him or root for him in any way--the complete opposite of Twilight where people were actually rooting for Bella to marry Jacob. Again you have another difference between the two series. The entire Twilight series centers on a love triangle--who will she pick? 50 Shades is a given. We know immediately who she is going to end up with and Jose is a non-entity. To be honest, I think Ana would have wound up with Ethan had she never met Christian. Bella isn't one to make close girl friends. In the few cases where she does, it's almost against her will. She clearly does like Angela, but not enough to spend a lot of time with her. She is aware that Jessica is a bitch, but is friends with her because she is trying to make up appearances for her dad. Ana and Kate were well written as best friends. Kate was loosely based on a combination of Rosalie and Jessica, but only in her traits--she and Ana were much closer than any relationship Bella had with any females. Bella did get close to Alice, but nothing like Ana and Kate.

Baby You Can Drive My Car: Wheels of Importance

Both Stephenie and EL James wrote about cars like they were women who knew nothing about cars. Only a mother would write a bachelor owning 3 Audi SUVs. One maybe, but he would be driven about in a sedan, likely a town car-type, not in the back of an SUV. Also a man with that much money would be driving a Lamborghini, not an R8 (Audi and Lamborghini are both owned by VW and the R8 has a Lambo engine, but people buy the R8 because they can't afford the Lambo. He can and he would.) When Stephenie writes cars, she clearly writes about the 3 cars she knows and dreamt of owning, whether they make sense for her characters or not. She claims to have gotten her car info from her "expert" brother, but I doubt that very much. Am I the only one that thought the Ferarri for Bella was lame? It seemed so obvious to me that Edward would have had her truck rebuilt with a new ultra-fast engine, new paint, new interior, and she would have loved it. But even with a Ferarri, again we see the difference between Ana and Bella. Ana was intimidated by the R8 at first, but drove it and ended up loving it. Bella just ignored the car altogether, once again being a rude, selfish bitch. And don't get the wrong idea, I am not a fan of Ferarri, not my dream car, but clearly is a dream car for Meyer. And that's where you have to separate yourself from your characters when you write. She forced that Ferarri on Bella for no reason. It makes Edward seem like a man who has no clue what his wife likes and I don't think that's true. I think Edward wants to give Bella what she wants and she wanted her truck--I think she would have accepted a rebuilt, custom version of her old truck. After going online and seeing the range of Audis to see what James was picturing, the A3 seemed lame to me. For someone with that much money, why is he buying the little compact that looks like a Honda or a Mazda? I saw the Audi TT and thought "that's what his subs would be driving." Edward driving the Volvo sedan was a little odd to me. I get that it's a solid and practical car and that fits his personality, but the point was trying to fit in. How is cramming 5 rich teenagers into a sedan practical? How is a Volvo at all reasonable? Volvo? Really? What family of 7 doesn't own a car that all of them can ride in--that's a tip off right there that they aren't a real family. I'm sorry but there would have been a mini-van somewhere. Esme not owning a car was off too. Ok maybe she didn't want one or need one, but for a family that made such a big deal about "keeping up appearances" to the point that Carlisle did the grocery shopping regularly? Yeah the wife of the rich doctor would have her own car. The movie got the car right when they had Edward in the XC90 wagon--that made much more sense. All five of them would fit in that--but in the movie he never gave his siblings a ride to school. It was also a car a teenager would drive--even a rich one--because it's a rich family car and we all knew kids in high school that drove their mom's wagon to school. Meyer was trying to make a point that they were being low key by not driving really expensive cars to school, but a Volvo sedan is not the right choice. It looks like a car driven by a middle aged man in middle management. While it is very non-descript, putting it in a high school parking lot is odd. And she writes about it like it's a really big deal "oooh a shiny silver Volvo" ummm, no. It's like an expensive, safer, Toyota Camry. Blah. She clearly has no knowledge of cars. On the other hand we have James who clearly went to the Audi website and picked their whole range for her writing. The sportscar, the large crossover (NOT an SUV--get your terms right!), and the smaller crossover, and then of course the little hatchback. Either she covets the Audi crossover when she does the school run in London or she just has no imagination. One point I do agree with, I can see Christian having only one brand of cars as a personality trait. He is very meticulous. But again, he would be driving a Lamborghini, not the R8. Men that rich don't drive R8s. The Saab was a poor choice as well, but unfortunate since they've gone out of business. After reading the books and getting to know the characters, like Edward i think Christian got it wrong. The perfect car (after the Audi was destroyed) for Ana was a Mini Cooper. She has a love of all things British and that's an iconic British car, however Mini is now owned by BMW which also makes it German and well engineered and safe. Also the same size category as an A3. I think what the car aspect really boils down to is lack of basic car knowledge. Clearly both women wrote about cars they knew and/or liked and/or want themselves whether they truly fit the character or not. Why is this a big deal? Because they made it a big deal. If you are going to make cars important to the story, and be so specific with brands and models and link them somehow to the story and personality of the character, you had better get them right. Christian was very successful in his gift-giving for Ana, he chose the right presents and they were always spot on. Therefore the car needed to be as well, because he just doesn't make those mistakes. The Saab was just a British thing, clearly. Saab was much more popular in Europe and frankly a bomb here in the states. They did get a few right: Carlisle, Emmet, and Rose all drive cars that seem to fit them. I can even go along with Alice in a Porsche. I can see Edward in the Aston, although it seems a little old for a 17 yr old. Yes I get that he's mature and 110, but still--traditionally an old man's car. She also wrote him as a car enthusiast. That's why they didn't have enough cars. Sorry but owning two cars doesn't make you an enthusiast. Yes we can assume that since they own homes all over, they have garages all over with cars stashed in them. But we shouldn't have to assume. If the garage in Forks is described as so cavernous and large, six cars isn't that big a deal. Sorry, a family so intent on looking normal would have a mini-van or something similar whether anyone drove it often or not. They have a dining table, there'd be a minivan. The Volvo is the one that really bugs me. Wrong, just wrong. I also don't understand why there are 3 Audi SUVs in the parking bay at Christian's. One or two, ok. Mrs. Jones needs one to do the grocery shopping. But once more I will argue that day to day being driven around and riding in the backseat, not going to happen in an Audi "SUV" and to be clear, it's a crossover, not an SUV. The Audi's she is writing about are just enlarged station wagons. He'd be in the back of a sedan. James lives in London, she knows all about car services and car hires. I see him in the back of a Jag before I see him in the back of an Audi crossover. One painful difference in the writing is that it is obvious that Meyer did real research, whilst James clearly did all hers on Google. What really bothers me is that James lives in England, home of the most-watched TV show in the world: Top Gear. C'mon, know something about cars! Seriously!

Christian vs. Edward: Battle of the Titans

One of the most noticeable differences for me is this: Christian gets angry with Ana and reacts by ignoring her. Edward would never do that. He only got mad at her once and that was when she went to La Push in "Eclipse" but even then, he wanted to be with her. Christian gets mad several times and sulks (hides in his office during two fights, goes to Portland for a meeting and doesn't tell Ana--helicopter crashes, ignores her for 2 days when she tells him she's pregnant) so he has personality qualities that are nothing like Edward's. Honestly I don't find many things similar, other than great wealth. Christian is far more dark as a character, in my view, than Edward. I think Edward begins a bit dark, but that's more a side effect of having to keep humans away. He plays a role at school as the disinterested bad boy, but at home around his family he isn't dark at all. Meyer tries to make him soul-less or rather, he believes he has no soul, but I don't find him all that dark. Christian, on the other hand, is dark. Dark, dark, dark. The two leading men have nothing in common in their backgrounds. Edward had a happy and wealthy upbringing with a mother who was attentive and loving. His father, we are told in the guide, was distant, but that really was a time period issue. He was a successful lawyer and in that part of the century, men did not take overly active roles in child-rearing. Even as a human in the early 1900s, Edward never lacked for anything--he was well-educated, had music lessons, lived in a nice home. Christian's life before adoption was horrific. Edward is not stupid. He is quite smart, however a lot of his intellect can be attributed to his vampireness--being a vampire makes your brain unstoppable, apparently. He was well-educated as a human for the time period in which he was living, but all of his college degrees were earned as a vampire and has a photographic memory. Christian gets bonus points for being successful and smart on his own. He did grow up with wealthy parents, but they aren't credited with helping him start his business with a start-up loan--that money came from Elena. Financial success in Twilight seems to be a family pursuit--their wealth appears to be and is presented as a collective wealth. It's never specifically said that Edward has this much, Jasper has this much, etc, etc. They are wealthy as a group. Meyer does let us know in the guide that there are multiple accounts all over the world in multiple names. They all seem to own property--Edward owns his parent's home in Chicago still, as well as inherited their money after their death--and re-inherits from himself after he "dies" every 50 years or so. Carlisle began with money from the Volturi back in the 1700s and clearly has done well for himself. Alice, we are told, sees the future and plays the stock market with that information making their entire family wealthy beyond belief. Add to that decades and decades of that money to make more money with interest, and well.... Christian, on the other hand, announces his worth and income and takes credit for it himself. His family has money, his brother seems quite successful, but clearly not as wealthy, but the money is his and his alone (until he marries Ana, of course.) We also know that Kate and Ethan come from a wealthy family and are bathed in money. Elliot owns his own construction business and clearly lives well and can afford to take a week off and jet to Barbados in a moment's notice in the height of building season. Therefore, like Twilight, money in 50 is a given. Edward, especially if you read "Midnight Sun" is clearly in pursuit of Bella. Christian is more subtle about it. He wants Ana, but his personality is a bit more quiet in his determination. We have no idea how he would have gone about chasing her, because Ana chased as well.

Ana vs. Bella: I mean really?

Stephenie Meyer has said that Bella is "every girl." The idea was that any girl reading Twilight could see part of herself in Bella. The problem with that theory is that Bella is written with little personality and little interest. She has few hobbies and those she does have are non-descript, quiet, and take little imagination. She was written so average that she became unexceptional. Ana was written with a few of the same background details (two single-parent households, not a lot of money, quiet and loves to read) but beyond that, she has much more depth. She knows what she wants and doesn't want, she has clear ideas of what she wants in a future career. Bella didn't seem to have much interest in college or careers even before Edward. I'm guessing that if she hadn't met and married Edward she likely would have just settled for Jacob since her self-esteem was so low. Ana was only Bella-like through the beginning interview with Christian in the first book. After that, she was more assertive and I believe a case could be made that she was the one who did more pursuing than Christian. Ana went along on the photo-shoot with Kate for the paper. Why? She wasn't on the paper, she had no reason to be there other than to see Christian again. She drunk dialed him from the bar. Yes he over-reacted and showed up to rescue her, but he wouldn't have had she not called. Bella never would have had the balls to call Edward. Edward did the pursuing in Twilight. Those two getting together was all on him. Ana was an active participant. Bella also denies Edward many opportunities to express himself. Ana allows it. If Edward had the hobbies of flying and sailing, Bella would bitch and moan and whine the entire time and refuse to participate because it cost too much money. Ana had those twinges too, but she also saw how happy Christian was when he participated in those hobbies and was willing to try them and learn that she enjoyed them too. Edward's feelings were legitimately hurt because Bella refused him the joy of buying her gifts to celebrate milestones. She was so determined not to be a gold-digger, that she actually hurt his feelings. Ana moved past it and saw the gifts for what they were--not just displays of wealth, but displays of love and affection. The earrings and watch and bracelet had real meaning--deep, loving sentiment from Christian to Ana and they just happened to be expensive. Bella would have just pitched a hissy fit. She accepted, grudgingly, gifts of jewelry that had been in Edward's family, but that was it. And she was a rude little bitch about it. The dance. Ana was apprehensive and unsure about going to the charity ball, but she went and had a great time. Bella acted like a cranky toddler during Prom. It never occurred to her that Edward might actually want to enjoy himself with his girlfriend. He wanted to take her to fancy dinners and go out on the town...to travel and show her places he loved. But no, can't do that because it would cost money. Really? Part of Edward's identity was being rich. He's not supposed to be himself anymore just because Bella isn't used to money? Again she was so worried about being a gold-digger that she turned into a kill joy. Part of being in a loving relationship is allowing your partner to express themselves. Bella never understood that. Ana understood that and let that blossom and bring them closer. I find the biggest writing difference in the two characters as this: Ana is believable as a person, Bella is not. Bella is written as a washed out version of a human. I have a few theories as to how and why that happened. In the final book Bella became a vampire and in that vampire world, you become magnified and so much...more. In order for her vampire self to be so dynamic, her human self needed to be written so dull so the difference would be intensified. The other reason of course was to make her so appealing to a broader audience. Ana was made so specific and defined that every girl won't be able to become Ana in their mind. Kate and Mia (to some extent) were also specifically defined therefore, like "Sex and the City" a girl can almost identify with a specific character. Bella was written differently, in that she is so bland that a reader can kind of turn her into whomever they want. Ana, I think, was stronger and more determined than Bella. Ana was written kind of mousy for the first few chapters, but I don't think that version of her stuck. She puts her foot down and makes herself known quite quickly and she holds her ground throughout. Yes she is occasionally intimidated and yes she is inexperienced, but that's ok and that's believable. Bella is just a hot mess. That's the only way I can describe her. I understand that the characters are 3 years apart in age and post-college vs. high school graduate really is a big gap in maturity and experience, but even at the end of Twilight I find Bella only moderately matured and that's really due to her transformation not due to any great wisdom. Ana is written more as a woman that wants and can have it all. She can have the job she loves at the same time she can have the family she loves. Bella doesn't seem capable of doing anything more than being a wife. I'm just a wife and I'm fine with that, but if you really come down to it, the submissive in these stories is Bella and it isn't Edward who makes her submissive, she does it to herself. He offers her any college experience she could want and she turns it down. Nope, just want to lay in bed and bang my husband for eternity. Ana and Christian may be more creative in their love-making, but Bella is the true sex-obsessed character. Ana was written with a clear identity. She could move into Christian's world and still be who she was because she didn't let it over take her true self. She could wear nice new clothes, get her hair and nails done but still be Ana and not become unrecognizable. Bella refused to even try anything other than becoming a vampire. That she would do, but she seemed incapable of a new wardrobe without completely losing who she was--that's poor character development. Ana is willing to try, anything Bella does, she does grudgingly and with a lot of complaining. I can see how Bella being written as stubborn shows that she keeps to who she is, but the problem is that it just doesn't come off that way when you read it. Ana enjoys seeing that her wearing these new clothes makes her feel sexy and makes her feel closer to Christian, it's not seen as him forcing his will on her. Frankly Bella just never learns that a relationship is a two-way street. Give it a try, you might like it.

Twilight vs. 50 Shades: The Bigger Picture

Most people know that 50 Shades began as fan fiction for Twilight. However when I read the two series, I didn't really get one story from the other. The characters are so different. Beyond the changes in location and age, I get a completely different feel from each series. The biggest difference in reading one and then the other is the human vs. immortal factor. Stephenie Meyer goes to great lengths to remind us again and again that her vampires are not at all human. They don't look human, they don't feel human, they don't act human. Pre-Twilight, most people's experience in the vampire genre includes vampires that are clearly still human in appearance. When you read Twilight you are not reading about humans, you are reading about immortals, and you know this as you read. So when someone tries to convince you to transfer those characters over to 50 Shades, it just isn't possible. The characters in 50 Shades are very clearly human. They feel differently. And they read differently. I will come out and admit whole-heartedly that when it comes to Twilight, I am all Edward all the time. He is the focal point of those books for me. When I read 50 Shades, I see both Ana and Christian. When I read Twilight I am always waiting for Edward to appear, reappear, talk, do something. I don't really acknowledge Bella too much. I think that's why I prefer to read "Midnight Sun." However, with 50, I find Ana to be much more likeable. I will get to that later. The similarities I find include: poor choices in writing, poor writing, flawed editing, and lack of technique. However I'm not sure that's what people talk about when they compare the two series. In following posts I'll talk about mistakes I feel both authors made and why I think those mistakes happened.

What is the Ever Lovin' Point?

First of all let me introduce myself. I am a thrice-married mother of an elementary school age daughter. My husband is very much a family man and I am a stay-at-home wife and mom. I graduated from college in '92 from a private and admittedly prestigious Pacific Northwestern liberal arts college with a Bachelor of Science degree in English. Yes, a BS not a BA. The easiest explanation is that I didn't want to take a foreign language because I took Spanish for three years in High School and couldn't speak a word--Science and math seemed a safer bet. I do enjoy writing and as most English majors do, hoped to be a writer, but at the same time never pursued it. I wrote a novel length manuscript in college and promptly ignored it and no longer have a copy of it. Remembering back, it too had a vampire twist in it with made up vampire rules--wow I just remembered that as I'm typing. Huh. I didn't read the Twilight books until 2010. I was hooked and it was almost manic--I actually lost 20 lbs. in three weeks because all I did was read them over and over one after the other. I had sores on my wrists where the book would lay open as I read. This was back before "Eclipse" was out in theatres--I checked out the first movie from the library and would watch it on infinite loop. Yeah I was one of those psycho moms that became an addict. I still am. I was even more hooked on "Midnight Sun" because I love Edward and don't really care about anyone else. I didn't read "50 Shades" until last November. Same thing happened. Hooked. Part of this is personality-related. I have a tendency to hyper-focus on things. Now we come to the point of the blog. I read an article--well tried to read this article--about the original fan fiction that eventually became "50" and how it really didn't change much to become "50" other than changing all the character names--from the Twilight names to the 50 names. The problem I have with this is...I don't see 50 as a copy of Twilight. I see it as "inspired by." In the same way Meyer used Jane Austen and other British classics as inspiration, I feel James used Twilight. And by using that prism of belief, let's discuss some more specific aspects.